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he Bat Signal lit the sky over Gotham City. On a hill just outside the city limits, Batman said, “Quickly, Boytoy Wonder. To the Batmobile. We have to get to police headquarters.”
Dildo the Boytoy Wonder wiped his mouth and stood. “What’s going on?”
Batman sighed. Why hadn’t the sidekick temp agency sent him someone with brains to fill in while Robin was on his Hedo vacation? “The Bat Signal is lit,” he explained, hoping he sounded more patient than he felt. “Commissioner Gordon needs us.”
“Oh. Who’s Commissioner Gordon again?”
Batman squelched the urge to throttle the Boytoy Wonder. “Just get in the car.”
As the Batmobile raced through the streets of Gotham, Dildo’s hand crept over the center console to Batman’s thigh. Batman knocked it away. “Not now. We have a crime to solve.”
“But we didn’t finish what we were doing,” Dildo whined.
“Later, Boytoy Wonder.” The young man definitely lived up to his name, Batman reflected.
The Batmobile stopped in front of Gotham’s police headquarters, and Batman leapt out of the car. Dildo’s cape caught on the door, causing him to fall flat on his face. Batman rolled his eyes. “Get up and come on.”
“Sidekick training school never mentioned leaping out of cars,” Dildo muttered.
The Dynamic Duo were ushered into the chief’s office, where Commissioner Gordon paced in front of a map full of pushpins. “Each of these pins represents a heinous crime,” he intoned. “Young, sexy women have been found in each location, with… oh, it’s almost too horrible to mention.”
“Were they murdered?” Batman queried.
“Worse,” the Commissioner replied. “They were masturbating!”
“Nothing wrong with a little self-relief,” Dildo commented.
“Perhaps not,” the Commissioner said. “Bu Continue reading
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Oh my head.” Robin whispered as he
stirred awake.
It took a few moments for him to fully regain
consciousness. His last memory was of chasing
someone across the Gotham rooftops, now he was
in someone’s apartment.
“I’ve been captured!” He screamed in his
mind as he suddenly realized he was under restraints.
Taking a deep breath, he willed himself to
think calmly, just as Batman as taught him. Take
stock of the situation, then form a plan of action.
The room was in semi-darkness, illuminated
only by the moonlight filtering through the skylight.
Bright blue eyes surveyed the loft. Not much to see.
A studio apartment, very nondescriptive. Could be
anywhere in Gotham City – or for that matter any
city. A small bed, three dressers, small kitchenette.
Then he noticed a two suitcases in the corner.
Someone was either just moving in or ready to move
out.
Next he again tried his bonds. No good,
they were strong leather straps. He was strapped to
some sort of homemade wooden table, attached to
some sort of wheel and pulley system that allowed
the bed to be raised and lowered. He could be
turned straight up to a standing position or laid flat.
Currently he was locked into an forty five degree
angle. If anything, it reminded him of something out
of those old Frankenstein movies.
“Ok, I’m not strong enough to break out of
this.” He said to himself. “So lets cons Continue reading
